Being the mother of a child who has been close to death several times is not easy… in these moments, nothing else matters to us. We do not live that for this fight or this little being / this little part of ourselves suffers horribly without our being able to relieve it or calm its suffering – everything else becomes banal… there is at times this little voice in us which tells us that we must prepare for the worst but at the same time another more powerful voice which refuses and which wants to fight until the end and which fervently prays for the healing of its child.
In my case, even if I had the grace of Adrien’s healing in 2018 (after the death of my husband, Jean-Bernard in 2017), the fear of a relapse or rejection following his transplant liver is omnipresent so prayer is my only consolation in these moments of loneliness and fear. My stress during my fight for Adrien’s recovery was even higher compared to my eldest son, Raphaël, then 8 years old. Raphaël, who was my secret source of courage and strength, had a great need to be reassured every day about his little brother’s state of health throughout the duration of the treatment in India (3 months). After the loss of her dad, I couldn’t imagine any other scenario than a cure and it was for him that I rushed – without ever doubting while putting all my trust in God.
Today having the opportunity to be a member of the Board of the Association ‘Enn Rev Enn Sourir’, gives me the opportunity to give my point of view from my personal experience and also my support to other mothers who are going through this kind of ordeal today. We understand each other and we have the opportunity to share our feelings, our sorrows and also our joys.
I have a special thought for all those mothers who have lost a child during the fight- It must be excruciating pain like being amputated from a part of yourself: May God give you courage every day and may your life resume its course little by little.
Another thought for these mothers whose illness of a child remains a daily struggle, sometimes resulting from a handicap or a sequel to the illness or even from a partial recovery requiring permanent follow-up throughout their life: they must learn to live on a daily basis and know how to readapt their life accordingly. Congratulations to you Courage moms!
Finally, just a word for my mother who died in February of this year and who, even having had an exemplary career as a nurse, could not support me because of her Alzheimer’s disease. But I will never forget his words on Mother’s Day telling me not to worry because my child will find his healing. It puzzled me because it was not at all the topic of conversation at the time; when we were at the very beginning of Adrien’s illness which lasted several years… the journey was long, of course, but my joy today is INTENSE (especially when I have to pick up his messes all over the house with a little bit of anger… But I thank God for that at all times)
Thank you grandma, thank you for the example you have been for me and thank you for these lost words…. or not… which today remain engraved in my heart ❤
Find out also other mother of our beneficiaries special mother day testimonies: